Butchering Shakespeare
by platowasabore
Summary: Nita and Kit try out for the school play, A Midsummer Night’s Dream. They both end up stirring up love interests on the set. Involves a jealous Nita, an obsessed Kit and a bunch of high school students butchering Shakespeare. Fluff. N/K
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- To my everlasting sadness I do not in fact own the Young Wizards series. That great honor belongs to the wondrous Diane Duane and her publishers. Woe is me.

Chapter 1

"Please."

"No."

"Please."

"No"

"Please."

"Kit! Would you please stop badgering me? I said no." I finally snapped at him before turning and hurrying down the school hallway and out the double doors as if distance would stop his incessant pleading.

Every year my school decides to butcher one of William Shakespeare's plays by making a bunch of high school students get on stage and mispronounce and misinterpret his beautiful but outdated language.

Last year they made a mockery of Twelfth Night and the year before they did a rendition of The Tempest that I'm still shocked to this day didn't make Shakespeare crawl out of his grave and slap every last one of them.

Every year Kit and I are content to go and sit in the last row quietly mocking them via mind speak while eating various food items we had managed to sneak in with a little help from wizardry. This year, however, we're juniors.

My school has a rule that you can't play a leading role in a play until you're at least a junior. Despite the fact that this resulted in some mild protest from the sophomores and freshmen of my school the faculty and drama teacher held firm. This year just happens to be my senior year, which also makes it Kit's junior year.

All of this combined lead to me being in the situation I'm currently in.

Which is running wildly away from my supposed best friend who is chasing after me still pleading for me to try out for the school play with him.

"Come on! You're supposed to be my best friend. I'm in need of moral support here." he yelled after me while still huffing up behind me in the parking lot.

"I'll support you all you want, but I won't try out." I said, not looking up from my bag where I was rummaging around for my car keys.

"How is that supporting me?" he asked before snatching my bag out of my hands and finding my keys with out even looking.

"How is trying out supporting you? I can support you just fine from the front row, thank you very much." I said, snatching my keys out of his hands and opening the door.

"Then you wouldn't have an actual excuse to be there and I'd look like a loser who can't be bothered to make new friends and has to drag old ones along." he explained while getting in the front seat.

"I hate to be the one to break this to you, Kit, but you are a loser who can't be bothered to make new friends and has to drag old ones along."

He waved the thought away and continued on as if I hadn't spoken, "You don't have to do a lead part or anything. You can be servant girl number five or something."

"No." I said and backed out of the school parking lot.

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Ok, lets not do this shit again." I broke in before he hit his stride. The last 'please, no' debacle went on for ten minutes. I don't want to start a second one.

"Why not?"

"Why not do this shit again or why won't I try out for the play?"

"The second one."

"Oh, just checking." I said and didn't answer his question, hoping it would slip his mind.

No such luck. It was worth a try.

"Well…" he persisted.

"Because I harbor no desire to get up in front of half the school and make a total fool of myself and up until a couple of hours ago I didn't think you did either."

I reached over and turned on the radio, turning the dial on the volume way up, hoping that would put an end to any and all conversation.

Kit just reached over and turned it off.

Crap.

I sighed, "Why is this so important to you?"

"It just is, alright?" he answered, not looking at me.

"But, why? Every other year we just buy our ticket, sit in the back row, eat junk food, and silently mock all the people on stage. Why would you want to break this beautiful tradition of ours?" I push.

"Exactly!," he screamed suddenly, "I just can't stand the idea of having to watch those Neanderthals butcher the works of Shakespeare one more year. Not again. Especially not when it's A Midsummer Night's Dream. That one is my favorite." he lied.

"(Cough)bullshit(cough)" I pretend coughed into my hand during a red light.

Kit scowled over at me, "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, please," I laughed, "We both know the real reason you want to try out and the real reason's name starts with a 'V'."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." he said, but I could see a blush steadily working its way up his neck.

"Yeah, whatever. Just don't use me because you want to get close to Veronica."

Vivian is a girl we go to school with who had been talking non-stop all week about trying out for the school play. She's also the girl Kit happens to have a crush on. Kit along with half the male population of my school.

Vivian had transferred over to our school last year and had been among the sophomores making a big stink over the drama's policy of not letting them play leading roles. Now that she's a junior she doesn't seem to care so much any more.

Most of the guys at my school had been taken with Vivian from first sight. Not that she's exceptionally pretty or anything (not that she was ugly, just regular pretty with an abundance of make up). This was mostly because she was new (fresh meat always draws a crowd) and she was rumored to be easy.

"This has absolutely nothing to do with Vivian." he defended.

"Yeah, right." I scoffed.

"It doesn't! I wasn't even aware she was trying out actually." he lied through his teeth.

I just scoffed but didn't push the issue any further, "It doesn't matter why you're doing it, all that matters is that I'm not."

"It would look really good on college applications." he said in a sing-song voice.

Crap.

He had me there and he knew it. I was aiming to get into NYU, which was a pretty competitive school. This could be the edge I was looking for to have on my application.

"Fine."

A/N- In case you haven't gathered this fic will be all fluff and no action. Also I don't really have an extensive knowledge of the play A Midsummer Night's Dream so you'll have to excuse any mistakes I happen to make.

A/N (2)-I don't want to sound demanding or anything but…REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!!!! Please?


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer- Nope, still not Diane Duane. Better luck next time.

A/N- Hey! Completely disappointing number of reviews. I'm not going to threaten to stop writing but if I don't get more reviews I will write excruciatingly slowly. Fear my evil! Muhahaha! 

Chapter 2

Students buzzed around the auditorium of Thompson High School fighting and yelling to be the first ones to get their names down on the try out list. The drama crew sat on the ledge of the stage watching the scene with detached amusement.

"Remind me why I'm doing this again?" I asked Kit after being kicked in the shin by a small freshmen for daring to stand to close to the list.

Kit dodged a particularly enthusiastic group of sophomore girls who had resorted to clawing to make it to the front of the line, "Because you love me, your adorable best friend, Kit."

I shot him a look that made it clear that I now loved him significantly less than I did a mere hour ago. 

"Wait here. I'll go put our names on the list." Kit said, ignoring the look and disappearing into the crowd. 

I turned my back on the crowd and went to sit in the third row of theatre style seats (you know, the ones where the bottom flips up when their not being sat on and you can never put your bag on because it'll snap up and be trapped in between the seat and the back rest) leaning back and shutting my eyes.

The seat to the left of me creaked suddenly with the wait of another person, "You must be new."

I creaked one eye open to check out the person sitting next to me. He was a boy, about my age, around six feet and had dark brown hair. He was smiling at me, obviously expecting a response of some kind.

Apparently a response wasn't as necessary as I thought it would be seeing as he just kept on talking, "You see, I know you're new cause I definitely would have noticed somebody like you around before."

I snorted at the cheesy pick up line and sat up looking at him fully.

"Ricky Chan is the name," he said, and offered a hand to me.

"I know," I said and ignored the hand.

He seemed a little thrown by this, "You do? I don't believe we've ever met?"

He might not remember me but I certainly did remember him. We had history together in my freshmen year. He was among the group of popular kids who used to make fun of me for hanging out with a younger guy. 

I opted not to tell him this, instead I just said, "We had history together freshman year. Mr. Charles class, remember?"

"Of course. Now I remember." he lied.

Kit fought his way back through the crowd before appearing in front of me, looking decidedly worse for wear. 

"We're on the list." he said before he caught sight of Ricky. 

I could tell that he remembered him too but like me was to polite to bring it up.

"Kit, this is Ricky. Ricky, Kit." I said, making all the necessary introductions and watching as they shook hands. 

Half way through the shake I watched as Kit caught sight of Vivian in a group of junior girls. He excused himself and made his way over to her.

I watched Kit as Ricky started to ramble on about various plays he had been in. Vivian turned around to face Kit after he came up behind her and said hello. The group of girls she was talking with quickly dispersed. 

A disturbing feeling started to settle deep in my gut as Kit and Vivian struck up a conversation. Kit said something, and Vivian threw her head back and laughed, flirtatiously touching his arm. Kit subtly turned red under his naturally tan skin.

There was a pause in the rambling Ricky was doing and I realized he had probably asked me a question.

"I'm Sorry, what?" I asked cluelessly.

"I asked if that guy you just introduced me to is your boyfriend?"

"Huh?" I asked intelligently.

"I asked if that guy was your boyfriend?" he said slowly, as if speaking to a small retarded child.

"No," I said quickly.

Perhaps it was too quickly because one of his dark eyebrows shot up and hovered for a moment before settling back down. Luckily for me the try outs started at that time, so he didn't have time to push the subject.

"Abbott, Jamie?" Mr. Guyner shouted over the auditorium.

A frightened looking freshmen stepped up to the stage and try outs began.

This is my overall understanding of A Midsummer's Night Dream. There's this chick named Hermia who's father wants her to marry this dude named Demetrius. But Hermia is in love with another guy named Lysander. 

Demetrius used to be engaged to a childhood friend of Hermia's before he met Hermia. This chick's name was Helena. Helena still has it bad for Demetrius and follows him around like a kicked puppy dog no matter how much he tells her he's not interested. 

Hermia plans to escape with Lysander so they can be together and they run off into the forest. Helena catches whiff of this plan and tells Demetrius in hopes that this will make him love her. No such luck, however.

Demetrius runs into the forest after them, Helena hot on his heels. In the forest there are a group of mischievous fairies. One fairy, Puck, accidentally makes both men fall in love with Helena by spreading a magic ointment over their eye lids while they're sleeping that makes them fall in love with the first person they see upon waking. 

When Hermia sees this she challenges Helena to a fight but eventually the whole thing is fixed and Hermia marries Lysander and Demetrius falls in love with Helena again and they all have a group wedding. 

Forty excruciatingly long minutes pass before my name is called.

"Callahan, Nita?"

I dragged myself out of my chair and trudged up to the stage and awaited directions from Mr. Guyner. 

"You'll be reading with Ricky. Page thirty two, you can read for Helena. Ricky, you read for Demetrius. It's when Helena follows him into the forest. Go!" Mr. Guyner sinks back into his chair and warily runs a hand over his eyes.

Ricky reached out his hand to help me up onto the stage and grinned at me. I just rolled my eyes at him, found the page, and started reading.

"You draw me, you hard-hearted adamant;But yet you draw not iron, for my heartIs true as steel: leave you your power to draw,And I shall have no power to follow you."

Ricky's voice then rang over the auditorium, "Do I entice you? do I speak you fair?Or, rather, do I not in plainest truthTell you, I do not, nor I cannot love you?"

"And even for that do I love you the more.I am your spaniel; and, Demetrius,The more you beat me, I will fawn on you:Use me but as your spaniel, spurn me, strike me,Neglect me, lose me; only give me leave,Unworthy as I am, to follow worser place can I beg in your love,--And yet a place of high respect with me,--Than to be used as you use your dog?" I replied, with a plead in my voice.

"Tempt not too much the hatred of my spirit;For I am sick when I do look on thee." Ricky responded with a sneer.

"And I am sick when I look not on you." I said, and the scene goes on from there.

Basically the gist of it is Helena is declaring her love for Demetrius and he's shooting her down badly.

"Thank you! That'll do!" Mr. Guyner called out.

I waited another thirty minutes for Kit to go up and do his part. He read the part of Lysander with Hermia being played by Vivian. I bet he just loved that. 

It was a full hour later when try outs were dismissed and I leaned against a locker in front of the auditorium and waited for Kit to file out with the rest of the crowd.

Ricky caught sight of me as he left and threw me a wink on his way out into the parking lot, "See you at rehearsals, Callahan." 

I ignored him and kept on looking for Kit. Like there was any chance at all I actually got a part. Maybe of servant girl number five or something. But the chances of me getting a role with more then three lines were slim to none. I was no actress.

A/N- I'm trying to make all the Shakespeare as little confusing as possible. Include any questions you might have involving the play in the review you're so obviously going to write and I'll answer on my next post. If you're having trouble understanding the plot look on spark notes, they explain the whole thing much better then I could.

A/N- Ok, lets try this again. You're going to scroll on down and click on the button that says 'review' on it like a good little reader. That's it. Go on. Don't be afraid. The review button won't hurt you. The review button is your friend. 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer- Fine! Ok, I'm not Diane Duane. Are you happy now? Oh, and I'm not Shakespeare either, in case you were wondering.

"Noooo!" One devastated sophomore screeched.

"The Bastards!!" Another junior screamed, causing a hall monitor to make a bee line towards her.

I kept a safe distance back and watched the growing chaos in front of me. Kit grabbed my arm and pulled me back out of the path of a angry senior storming furiously away from the list.

The list. The character list. As in the list that told all those at try outs if they made the cut.

And I didn't care. Not in the slightest bit. I felt more of a slight twinge of curiosity but by no means regarded it with the same passion as those milling around me.

Kit was standing beside me taking in all the action with a look of glee. I always said he was a bit off.

"Right," I said finally, "I'm gonna go get a soda."

I turned away from the scene and tried to walk away. Try being the operative word. Kit reached out a hand to stop me.

"We didn't see the results." he said, still looking at the flurry of people crowding around the list.

I looked over where he was looking just in time to see a freshman girl punch another freshman girl for getting the part she wanted.

"I think I'll pass, thanks."

"You tried out, you have to look at the results." Kit tore his gaze away from the fray to look at me.

"Why? I didn't get in. I was horrible." I assured him.

"Nonsense!" Kit said happily, "You were great!"

I regarded him for a moment before coming to a conclusion, "You didn't watch me try out did you?"

"Of course I did!" he said quickly. Too quickly.

I stood in front of him and gave him an expectant look.

"Ok," he relented, "I didn't watch."

"I knew it." I sneered.

"I meant to. I just got distracted, that's all." he said, trying to look pitiful.

"And what exactly distracted you from watching your best friends try out when you were the one who dragged her down there?" I said, pretending to be mad. In all actuality it was kind of fun to watch him squirm.

"Well, I was talking to Vivian and…." he trailed off, looking at his feet.

"Ah…Vivian" I fake sneered.

"Yeah…" he said, shifting awkwardly.

That was pretty much all I could take. I started laughing and when he realized what I had been doing he punched me on the arm and started laughing to.

"Whatever, wait here. I'm going to go check the list. Wish me luck." and with that he was gone, disappearing into the rowdy crowd before I could actually wish him luck.

I stood there, where he had left me, waiting impatiently. I wonder if I could go get a soda and be back before him? Probably not. Kit's shouting broke me from my thoughts.

"Nita! Nita! Neets!"

I turned around to see Kit running towards me. Before I could make fun of him for acting like such a nerd in the hallway he grabbed my hand and pulled me into the throng. People jostled and pushed at all sides of me but Kit just kept pulling me after him despite my many attempts at wrenching my hand free.

"Kit! What are you doing?" I screamed at him over the noise but he just ignored me.

After nearly loosing several limbs and having to kick at various people to get them to stop pushing us Kit pulled me to a stop in front of the list.

"Look, just look." he said, holding me by my shoulders so I wouldn't turn away from the list.

Kit put his finger on the list and dragged it down coming to a stop under a new line of names entitled 'leading roles'. I followed his thick, tan hand and read what he was showing me.

LEADING ROLES

_Helena- Callahan, Juanita_

_Demetrius- Rodriguez, Christopher_

_Lysander- Chan, Ricky_

_Hermia- Hughes, Vivian_

Shit.

I voiced this thought to Kit and he said, "What? You're the leading role. Why aren't you happy?"

I didn't answer, I just repeated my previous sentiments.

"I don't get it. What's wrong?" he asked, looking confused.

"I didn't want the lead role," I said, starting to feel slightly hysterical, "I didn't want _any _role!"

"Why wouldn't you want the lead role?"

I turned around, roughly wrenching my shoulders from his hands where they still rested, and nearly making him loose his balance. I pushed right past him and made my way through the now smaller crowd. Kit chased after me calling my name but I kept walking.

I had to tell Mr. Guyner that I didn't want the part so he could find someone else before it was too late. He could give it to one of those disappointed girls I saw leaving the list. They'd be thrilled to have it. Let them play stupid Helena.

Kit grabbed me by the waist and lifted me off the ground when he saw where I was going, swinging me around and pushing us out an emergency exit so we came to a stop in a deserted side parking lot. By this time people were looking at us oddly but we just ignored them.

"What is wrong with you?!" I screamed, "Put me down right now!"

When he didn't put me down I kicked at him backwards landing a pretty hard blow to his shin. He grunted beneath me and dropped me to my feet, bending over to rub his leg.

"What is wrong with you?!" I repeated loudly, thankful the parking lot we were in was deserted.

"You can't quit." He said straightening up.

"I most certainly can." I said, starting to fear for my best friends sanity.

"No, you can't." he pleaded with me.

"Why not?" Maybe I should take him to the school nurse.

"Because then you would leave me alone and I would look like an idiot in front of Vivian." he explained.

Ah. That explains it. He's not crazy. He's in love.

Same thing.

"Look, Kit. You're gonna have to get the girl on your own because there's no way in hell I'm going up on stage in front of half the school and have them mock me the way we mocked the actors the last two years." I said stubbornly, shaking my head, "Nu-uh. Not gonna happen. Never gonna happen."

A/N- There's this lovely little button you can push to send me your thoughts on my story. I like to call it a review button. Feel free to try it out. Please?


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer- I only own the plot, which disappointingly enough I am not making any money off of.

A/N- Forgive me if I accidentally butcher Shakespeare. I mean no harm.

A/N- A special thank you to imakeladrygirl, who pointed out a glitch with the names. It has been fixed.

"God speed fair Helena! whither away?" Vivian's nasally voice flowed across the theatre.

"Call you me fair? that fair again loves your fair: O happy fair!Your eyes are lode-stars; and your tongue's sweet airMore tuneable than lark to shepherd's ear,When wheat is green, when hawthorn buds is catching: O, were favour so,Yours would I catch, fair Hermia, ere I go;My ear should catch your voice, my eye your eye,My tongue should catch your tongue's sweet the world mine, Demetrius being bated,The rest I'd give to be to you translated.O, teach me how you look, and with what artYou sway the motion of Demetrius' heart." I answered in fake despair.

"I frown upon him, yet he loves me still." she answered.

"O that your frowns would teach my smiles such skill!" I turned away from her to look into the audience.

"I give him curses, yet he gives me love."

Ricky was standing in the left wing of the stage, grinning at me. I rolled my eyes at him. Vivian and I had been reading lines for twenty minutes with the rest of the crew watching us with slightly bored expressions.

I must say, Helena was one pitiful little puppy. Most of her lines are spent fawning over Demetrius, who won't give her the time of day. Here she is, now, talking to Hermia about how Demetrius loves her instead. The girl just couldn't take a clue.

I don't see how anyone could think it was worth it, this whole love thing. Look what it made this girl do. She ends up traipsing about the forest following a man who hates her and loves her friend. I don't see the appeal.

"Enough! Good! Get off the stage." Mr. Guyner called out, and replaced us with three other actors.

Ricky followed me off the stage and over to my bag while Vivian traipsed off to find Kit.

"Not bad for a new-be." Ricky said, leaning against the wall and smirking at me.

"Gee, thanks" I turned my back on him and gulped down the contents of my water bottle. Running lines for twenty minutes straight can leave a girl parched.

I looked over to the other side of the theatre where Vivian had found Kit and was now standing annoyingly close to him and repeatedly swinging her hair around. I can see why there were rumors of her being easy.

"Listen, a bunch of us are going out to dinner on Friday. You in?" Ricky came around to stand in front of me again, giving me no choose but to look at him.

There was something about the mischievous look on his face that made me a bit suspicious. I hadn't heard of any outing between the cast and crew members.

"Who exactly, does a 'bunch of us' consist of?" I asked in my best 'tell the truth' tone.

"You and me, of course." he said with a grin, "The only people who matter."

I snorted, "Yeah, I don't think so but thanks."

"Why not?" he persisted, "It'll be fun. We can go to that new French restaurant and see a movie or something."

I opened my mouth to deny the offer and maybe offer some sort of excuse for why I simply couldn't go (something along the lines of 'sorry, but I have to wash my hair) when a loud shriek sounded directly behind my left ear.

Oh, lord. I think my ears may be bleeding. Lets hope I listened more out of the right one any way, cause I'm pretty sure the left one's a goner.

"That sounds like such fun!" an annoyingly familiar voice sounded from behind me.

I turned around to face Vivian, with a grimace I hope I covered well enough. Either which way I don't think anybody noticed.

Vivian was fluttering her hands excitedly, giving her an appearance remarkably akin to that of a small bird attempting flight. Kit was standing behind her, shooting a pretty hostile look towards Ricky. Hmmm, maybe he thinks he's after Vivian.

"We should all go together!" Vivian's voice cut into my musings.

"Wait, what?" I voiced, but nobody could hear me over her.

"It'll be like a double date! Nita and Ricky, and me and Kit." she said excitedly, "Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Kit was looking like somebody had just hit him over the head with a brick, Ricky was looking smug (He obviously thought he had me in a position I couldn't say no to. He's about to be sorely disappointed), Vivian was looking as if she had just discovered the cure for cancer, and if I looked at all like how I felt than I'm sure I wore a confused and aghast expression.

There was no way at all that was going top happen. I would rather have tea with the lone power than spend an evening being hit on by the prom king and having to listen to Vivian prattle on about the new cheerleading uniform in her high pitched, nasally voice.

I opened my mouth to refuse the offer of a date for the third time in ten minutes when Kit sent me a message via mind touch (A/N I have no clue as to what they actually call it.).

_Say yes._

Kit must have been breathing in the glue from art class if he thought that I was going to do this. I'm already in this damn play because of him, what more does he want from me?

I told him this, _No way! I'm already doing this stupid play for you, how you get Vivian to go on a date with you is your own issue from here on out._

_Please, _he begged, _She'll never agree to go out with me any other way. This is perfect._

_Get your own dates!!! I have no desire to go on a date with Ricky and I certainly have no desire to spend the evening with your little girlfriend._

_It won't be a real date, _he argued, _It'll be more like a group outing._

_No! Sorry, but I won't do this._

I turned back towards Ricky and Vivian who were watching us with bemused expressions on their faces, I guess we had been silent for a little to long, and waiting for some sort of response.

I started my let down, "I'm sorry guys, but…"

"We'd love to." Kit interrupted, stepping smoothly in front of me (a pretty easy feat considering I was frozen in shock), "Why don't we meet at the French restaurant at nine?"

I stood behind him, glaring daggers into the back of his skull. Kit was so going down.

A/N: Sorry if this chapter sucks, I'm kind of suffering from a bad case of writers block at the moment. Anyway, I may be busy with the holidays so don't expect an update too soon.

A/N- Unless you plan on sending me an actual Christmas present a review will have to do.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer- You know the drill.

A/N- I'm a horrible, horrible person for taking so long to update. May I wrought in fan fiction hell. Many thanks to all of my readers who have actually stuck in there for so long.

"OW!"

"You selfish idiot!"

"OW! Nita stop!"

"What is your problem!?!"

I was currently in the act of beating Kit to death with my biology text book while berating him for agreeing that we would go on a double date with Vivian and Ricky.

"What part of NO do you find hard to comprehend!" I shouted, while landing a blow on Kit's shoulder blade.

"Stop! Nita, OW, stop!" Kit shouted back.

Kit wrenched the book from my hands and throw it on my kitchen table. Dairine was sitting at said table watching us with detached amusement and eating a piece of toast. She didn't appear to have any plans of saving Kit from what was sure to be his imminent death via text book.

How could he!?! I honestly don't know what's wrong with my supposed best friend sometimes. I would never do something so selfish to him. Agreeing that I would go out on a date with Ricky Chan is just crossing the line. I mean come on! It's more or less pimping me out.

"Look," Kit made an attempt at a placating gesture while I stood breathing heavily and glaring at him, "I know you're angry."

Dairine and I both snorted at this, but Kit didn't let me interject anything. He put his hands out to stop me before I could. This boy is really skating on thin ice here. He quite obviously doesn't realize how close he is to being murdered via school supplies.

"But it was necessary," he continued, "This is my only chance to get Vivian to notice me as more than a stage partner. You have to help me."

"_I _don't have to do anything. _I'm _not the one who needs a date with the most popular girl in school. _I'm _the person who is in no way involved in this." I emphasized each new point with a stab to his chest with my finger, "You can get your own dates. Leave me out of it!"

Kit sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, "I know that it isn't your job to get me dates, but I'm asking you as a friend. No, scratch that, I'm not asking: I'm begging, " Here Kit dropped to his knees on the ground and grabbed my hand, looking up at me imploringly, "Will you please do me this one little favor? I'll do anything I swear."

Kit flashed me the full extant of his puppy dog eyes. This was a method I usually implored on him. I had always found it to be particularly effective if I ever needed something of him.

I must say; it certainly sucks to have it turn on me in such a way. I can see why Kit always gives in.

I felt my resolve begin to weaken. I could tell that I could possibly say yes. Sigh. I'm such a softy.

But if I was going to give in it wasn't going to be for nothing.

"Be my slave," I said, viciously.

Kit got an odd look in his eyes and Dairine started to choke on her toast. They both gaped at me.

"What!"

They both gasped out the single word, each wearing varying degrees of shock on their faces. It took me a minute to understand what they thought I meant and I cringed when I did.

"Not _that _way, you perverts!"

Images of what they were probably thinking ran through my head, and caused an odd pull on my lower stomach. Stupid teenage hormones.

"I don't want you to be my love slave, " I rolled my eyes at their relieved expressions (At least I think it was relieved. Was it my imagination or did Kit look slightly disappointed?) "You'll do grunt work. Homework, chores, carrying my book bag, and tasks of similar nature. "

I watched for Kit's reaction with my arms crossed over my chest, looking at him appraisingly. He sighed and pushed himself to his feet, grumbling under his breath.

"I'm sorry, what was that? I didn't quite catch what you said." I put a hand behind my ear in a false show of someone trying to better their hearing.

Dairine laughed and tried to cover it up by turning it into a cough. Kit shoot her a look and glared at me, "I said, fine. I'll do it. For how long?"

I let a slow evil smile spread slowly across my face, "Oh, you just let me worry about that. I'll let you know when I'm through with you."

Kit shot me one last glare that would have killed a normal person before pulling out his manual to set up the coordinates for a beam me up Scotty spell. The air banged into place where he had been standing and a silence overcame the kitchen.

The silence, however, was soon broken by Dairine erupting into laughter behind me.

I turned to face her, "What?" I asked her rudely. I don't appreciate her laughing at my life.

"Oh, nothing, "she said innocently (*snort* yeah, that'll be the day), "This just got a lot more interesting, that's all."

I put a hand on my hip and sighed, "What just got a lot more interesting?"

"This whole thing you and Kit have going, of course." she said with a shrug.

"What thing? We don't have anything going on." I assured her, before walking past her to the fridge to retrieve a lemon soda.

I pulled back the tab and chugged half of the can down in one go. Ah, the drink of the gods.

"Nothing, really, " she shrugged again and popped the last bit of toast into her mouth, speaking around the bread, "Just that you're in love with him, that's all."

The sip of lemony goodness I currently flew from my mouth, landing against the fridge I was still standing in front of.

"Why I'd never!" my fridge huffed in the speech. Dairine and I both ignored her for the most part, although I think I might have mumbled some sort of apology.

"I am not in love with Kit!" I shrieked, when I stopped gaping my mouth like a fish out of water and found my voice again.

Dairine got up and put her plate in the sink, "you just keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better."

"I'm not in love with Kit!" I repeated, but she was already making her way out of the room, waving to me behind her back.

I stood staring at the place where she had left the room, ignoring my fridges grumbling. I eventually shook myself out of it and wiped down the still pissed of fridge before leaving the kitchen myself.

I am so not in love with Kit.

A/N- For anyone interested I stole Ricky Chan from Diane Duane. She mentioned him on page 215 in the paper back copy of The Wizard's Dilemma.

A/N- Although, I've been horrible with updating and I know I don't deserve it, reviews will still be much appreciated. Please? (try's to look pathetic).


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